Smells like ...

I'll just say right up front that I don't like Hummers and probably don't like the people who drive them. I'm also fairly comfortable saying that I won't like someone who drives a Hummer with a "Support Our Troops" sticker on it, and I'll even go on record as guaranteeing that if the guy driving it is a large man with a shaved head and a goatee (translation, "I'm fat but if I look mean then fat just equals big strong tough guy), we are not going to be friends.

It's not just that these things are gas whores, although that definitely comes into play with the "Support Our Troops" stickers. It's not that they're ugly - there are plenty of ugly cars on the road. It's not even that they're big, because they aren't anymore. It's that Hummers are everything bad about SUV's, all wrapped up in one convenient package. They're aggressive tough guy trucks that probably don't ever leave a paved city street 99% of the time, they're overhyped and overpriced (which is a bit of genius, especially for the first ones - I'll give them that), and they're the ultimate example of a perceived need because really, nobody "needs" one of these but I'll bet that almost everyone who has one can give you a 25 words or less speech as to why they are the exception to the rule.

BUT ... in case you don't have the cash to go buy one of these monstrosities or feel like maybe 10 mpg isn't a wise choice for fuel economy, you can still be part of the Hummer Hype ... or at least smell like it. Go get your fragrance on ...