Analyze This

I didn't sleep well last night, which usually means that I'll remember my dreams. Last night's was just begging for some pondering.

So, I won a spot on the space shuttle Discovery flight in a raffle at my sons' elementary school. It's the day of the launch, and I need to head on over. The info sheet I have says that I'm expected at 8:00 AM and if I'm more than 10 minutes late, I won't be getting on the shuttle. No problem, it's way before 8:00 AM. I pack the boys up and we head over to a friend's house first, he's having a party. Pre-8:00 AM, mind you, but what's time in dreamland? Nothing except a plot device to cause you to freak out later, if your dreams are anything like mine.

So, we get to my friend's house, and it's a cute little stone place with lots of unnecessary spires and windows - very fairy tale like. We go in, get the boys settled with my friend's kids, and then we hang out for a while. Eventually, I need to head to the launchpad - plenty of time still - so I make my goodbye rounds. That always takes longer than you think it will, doesn't it? Then I need to find the boys, but of course they have disappeared. Now it's starting to get to the time when we REALLY need to be heading out, and I still can't find them.

They finally show up, all muddy and knowing full well that they are in trouble. I'm now running late, and if I don't make it for the launch, not only will I have missed my chance but I will have kept a seat from someone else who maybe could have gotten there on time. It's not all the boys' fault, I shouldn't have gone to the party..

So we head over, but I'm lost. My info sheet doesn't have a number for NASA, so I have to call the school to get the number to let them know that I was running late. The receptionist takes my name and number and says she'll call me back. Meanwhile, I figure out that I'm going the wrong way, so I pull an illegal U-turn and end up rear-ending someone (how I did that, I have no idea). Now I'm late, have smashed my car, and still don't have a phone number for NASA. It occurs to me at this point that I might be deliberately sabotaging my efforts because I am afraid of the shuttle blowing up. Still, I feel like I have to go there because my fear is probably irrational and besides, I feel obligated to go since someone else could have won the raffle and had this experience of a lifetime.

Finally, I get in touch with my mother, who comes and gets us so we can head over to the launch. Unfortunately, she has a few stops she wants to make on the way (this would be somewhat typical of my mother) and there is apparently some roadside historical monument on the way. It turns out to be a marking from when the Statue of Liberty went on a nationwide tour, and we are accosted by craftsmen hawking various replicas of the Statue. I notice that most of the statues have a malevolent clown look going and I'm very anxious to leave this place.

And then I woke up.

Lots going on here. Anxiety about the shuttle, obviously. Putting too many things on my plate that ended up taking me way off course. The whole Scary Statue thing. Maternal issues. Responsibility issues. Priorities. I dunno. More pondering.