Damned prissy women who perch above toilet seats! You know what, you germophobe psychos? Your splashback ends up on the seats for everyone else. THANKS. Put down some toilet paper if you must (it doesn't really matter), but stop with the hovering. Unless your ass is criss crossed with open sores (in which case, you need to stop worrying about other people's toilet hygeine) and you're sitting down on a seat within a minute or so of someone with oozing wounds who just spent their toilet time rubbing their cooch around the seat, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO CATCH ANYTHING.

At least clean up after yourself. Lord.