Quiet month?

Wow, it's been over a month since I've visited here. Odd, considering how often I think about something that I want to mention. There are plenty of events that have made me simmer, but I don't feel like getting into those today. Instead, I think I'll ponder my son's 10th birthday.

I'm sure every mother feels and says this but wow - ten years sure went by quickly.

There are so many things I wish I could have done differently for him, and I'm constantly amazed at what a wonderful kid he is in spite of me. He's healthy, intelligent, polite and (generally) kind. He's the only child in his fourth grade class who goes to the fifth grade room for both reading and math, he has a good circle of friends who are generally "cool" - from a Mom's perspective, that means polite, articulate, and generally not trying to hard to impress.

As he gets older, I've noticed that he's getting a lot more affectionate. It's almost like he's got some understanding that soon he'll be out of that time in his life where he will be able to cuddle on the couch and he'd better get what he can now. I also think he realizes that he missed out on a lot of snuggle time when he was younger - back in the days when I was in a marriage that was unhappy and I was emotionally unavailable a lot of the time, and also just because he was never an overly touchy/feely kid.

There's so much more I could go on about here, but I won't because it'd turn into a big mess. I'm practically crying as it is, and that's just thinking about the past. If I start pondering too much about how the next ten years will likely whip by just as quickly and then he'll be gone and out of the house ... well, I just can't have that happening while I'm at work, so maybe I'll add more later. In the meantime, I'm looking forward to leaving here in an hour and a half so I can go home and give him a huge hug.